As my relationship with the Lord has grown, I have realized that every desire I have was put there by Him for Him to fill. It seems as though all these desires get corrupted, perverted and misguided by the enemy, the world and myself. This gives me hope though - it tells me that my desire is from the Lord and was put there with good purpose - that once straightened out, I will finally feel the satisfaction I've been craving.For example, I used to be hooked on romance novels. Yes, "porn for women" - lovely I know. What those books would do is awaken and feed strong desires to be desired, pursued, loved beyond my imagination -especially by a hero that is almost god-like. I also realized I wanted adventure and as a single, that I was desperate for my own love story. After a while, I put them down, feeling as though all they did was give me false hope, a sense of entitlement and a ridiculously high bar for any man that would walk into my life - I figured I was dooming any potential husband and setting myself up for horrible disappointment. So I just like throwing out bad books, I also repressed all those desires for quite a while.
Then I picked up another love story and all those desires came back with a vengance. I brought it up with God and realized that what I was craving, only He could provide. Those desires weren't meant to be stifled down and ignored - they were meant to be brought before Him so that He could be my HERO. He started showing me how He woos me everyday, how beautiful I am to Him, all that He went through to rescue me, how He was jealous when I would put other men before Him, etc. When I give these desires to Him, I feel like a true heroine in the most amazing love story/adventure EVER! I saw how the enemy got me by either giving me false hope or making me miss out - so darn clever.
So what about my other addictions/desires? The enemy offers me food, telling me I don't need to go to God because I'm anxious, nervous, tired, etc. - I just need to treat myself to "comfort" foods. The enemy tells my friend that she doesn't need to go to God to relax a bit, she just needs to smoke another cigarette. He tells my other friend that he doesn't need to face his problems with God, he just needs to escape into some alcohol. And on and on.
Did God give us "addictive" personalities so that we would be addicted to Him? Why not?! "Addiction" is such a bad word and yet I think that word pretty much sums up how we are to feel about God - only this ultimate addiction would actually bring what we're craving with other addictions - peace, joy, stimulus, answers, etc. It seems as though this goes along with the "God-shaped hole" that we Christians like to talk about.
So, I'm daring to believe that behind every addiction, is the truth of God - a desire placed there by God, that is to be filled by God with the same loyal, focused and driven passion that we currently have...
